Miss me?

Okay, okay, okay...I know it's been FAR too long since I've last updated this thing, but to my defense, I have no internet at home. And work has been far too busy to have any "me" time. But today is Friday, my boss is on vaca and the rest of the people that care about my business left early to enjoy the sunshine (that I get to "see" out four layers of windows). So here it goes....

I'm going to skip over the boring stuff and get right down to business.

THE BACHELORETTE FINALE!

I'm not going to lie, I was a little on the fence about who she'd pick. Would she go for Chris, the nice boy, who loves his Mama above all others, and would probably be a great father and husband? Or go straight for the sex-pot Roberto, with that amazing smile, great body and probably loves to put out?

Good choice Ali, you're only young once. And I can only image that the older you get, the harder it is to have super hot sex. Bravo honey.

Sadly for her (but not for the rest of us single ladies, that are more than willing to mingle with those abs and mouth), it's pretty certain that these two will not last. I can't imagine that moving across the country for a girl that is uber annoying you barely know, and then move right in with her will turn out well. But hell, it's worth a shot. Especially when you're making money while doing it.

For your sake I wish I had so much more to contribute and say about it, but honestly, I could care less. It got more boring as it went on, with the acception of a few things here and there, and all I could think about was The Bachelor Pad and super hot Jesse. So I'm ending it here. But promise to bring much better material and commentary with TBP and whatever awesome stuff comes along with, good or bad.

Aww...sad face for LiLo.

Our little ray of sunshine is getting her own slab of cement. Luckily for her, according to a spokesperson for the Sheriff, she'll most likely only serve 25% of her 90 day sentence. And on top of that, I'm sure she'll get to drop that annoying SCRAM bracelet, that keeps getting her into more trouble.

SHOCKER ALERT!

Jake and Vienna called it quits! Now I know she's saying it's because they rarely did the dirty, but I think her other assumption is more dead on...he's gay! I can't wait until he comes out and goes for the mock turtle neck dickie!

If I could sign it, I would!

And by sign, I mean sign language...buh bye! Thank you, Ali for finally giving ol' Deafy Deaferton the boot! Seriously, the look on her face when Bubble Throat showed her his tattoo... It was awkward, uncomfortable, you're a psycho, are you gay?, all rolled into one big, "yep, you just confirmed it, you're done". Come on now, the 11 studs?! Really? I was unaware that people even used the term "stud" anymore? It was all just horrific. Almost as bad as the helicopter exit, just leaving him behind. Just pitiful abc.

Now let's move onto that other guy the was denied a rose. You know, what's his name? Honestly I can't even remember, and he wasn't even on enough for me to come up with one or more clever nick-names. The most memorable thing he did was tell her that he likes Mexican food, and that was right before she let him go. Good luck in your future relationships bucko!

This last tid bit is for my own entertainment and provided to me by my friend Jessica, who's friend was so crafty, that I had to share it with all of you. Can you guess what we call him? (We'll see how much longer he lasts!)

I heart Albie Manzo.

He's gorgeous, funny and Italian!

Call me!

Jealous!

I especially love Joey's Public Enemy shirt!

Ugh.

I have been partially disgusted with Yahoo all day today. I went on the famous site earlier to check one of my e-mail accounts and to my dismay, one of their headlining stories was that, annoying couple, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are engaged. Have they forgotten that this has already happened once with these two and is most definitely NOT headline worthy news?!

I also found it quite entertaining that she dropped the ring in the sand and "despite a lengthy search by hotel staffers, the ring was never found". And by entertaining, I mean completely and totally annoying.

I love that they couldn't look for the ring themselves, you know, because they're above that. So they send the hotel staff after it. And that after an unsuccessful search, they just gave up on it and left it behind. I'm not sure if they've heard of metal detectors or not? But if I dropped 2 carats of shimmer, I'd be searching....all night if I had to! That's like saying, yeah, my vagina just melted off in that tanning bed; It's cool though, I'll just buy another. (this almost happened to me once, but that's another story). It's your engagement ring, that is supposed to be something special, almost one of a kind because of the emotion behind it. Eff you in the A for being so stuck up!

Just to throw this out there, she also has a whore-house tattoo of his name on her hip. If it said David Silver, I'd let her slide a bit. But it doesn't. So game over.